
“A beautiful thing is never
perfect.”
Today's post is going to be a little different from my usual type, but something that's quite important to me and something I feel reflects the true mission of my blog. I actually submitted this article to TinyBuddha first, but after having it turned down (due to the website preferring not to post content centering around physical appearances - fair enough!) I decided that there would be no better place to post the article than right here on my own blog. I feel that, especially as a fashion and beauty blogger, there is a certain pressure to appear perfect and immaculate day in day out, and the focus of 'beauty' is primarily based on a very physical level.
Whilst I make the effort to dress nice, do my make-up right, and try to help others feel better about their own appearances, I want to stress that beauty is about much more than that. Beauty is a much deeper part of ourselves, underneath all the make-up and stylish clothes, and is as much about our attitude and thoughts than what we actually look like.
So today, I offer you my own practical advice on feeling better about yourself and learning to embrace your beauty - not through make-up tutorials or fashion tips, but from changing your perspective, and overall body image. Enjoy!
~
A few weeks ago, I came across this video.
Summed up, it sends the powerful message that we are more beautiful than we
think, and like to allow ourselves to believe.
It really struck a chord with me. While watching,
I noticed similar traits in the people describing themselves that I also see in
myself.
Whenever describing or ‘visualising’ myself,
I always seem to paint the worst picture. My flaws are magnified and are
the only things I seem to pick up on.
Of course, these flaws could be imagined, or
barely noticeable to the everyday eye. But to me, and I’m sure to many other
people out there, these flaws are very real to us.
They are how we define ourselves, and our
worth.
Whether it’s the dark circles under your
eyes, the bump on your nose, the few blemishes on your skin (or all three, in
my case) we, as human beings, tend to pick out the least ‘attractive’ things
about ourselves, focus on how we can disguise them or somehow ignore their
existence, and assume that these are the first things people notice when they
meet us.
I have most certainly lived my life like
this. In a way, for so long, I’ve lived in fear, because I’ve been fearful of
judgement. This fear of judgement has been completely based on my appearance,
and for some reason, I’ve always made terrible assumptions that people will
judge me for these perceived ‘flaws’ of mine, and reject me in some cruel way.
All on first impressions!
Obviously, my idea of beauty for many years
of my life has been somewhat superficial. Very superficial, I should say.
Perhaps it is because, when growing up, we are bombarded with media’s physical
idea of ‘beauty’, and are brainwashed with lies of perfection.
Perhaps it all comes down to comparing myself
so unfairly to others. Maybe it’s hurtful comments I’ve received in the past,
or maybe it’s a lack of self-love and inner worth. Maybe it’s all four of those
things combined.
But, it all comes down to this: the human
race is a lot kinder than we allow ourselves to believe. It’s true. I know
what you may be thinking – “but what about all those terrible bullies in
school who made me feel like crap/ said mean things/ told me how ugly I am” –
I know.
But, as I am beginning to realise myself, it
is ourselves who are our own harshest critic.
We have to remember that the people who told
us these negative things, that we’ve grown to believe is the truth, are a
minority, and don’t reflect the truth about us at all.
As this video showed me, humans are a lot
kinder than we might think. It amazed me to see how, rather than picking out
each other’s flaws and imperfections, other people honestly saw the best assets
in others – it was only in themselves that they were most cruel and negative
about their appearance.
Not only is this enlightening to know, but it
gives me a great sense of freedom in knowing that, rather than assuming people
will always see the worst in me, people will actually, more often than not, notice
the great things about us.
And, sometimes, these things that we hate
about ourselves, or deem immediately as ‘flaws’, could be the things that
others love about us. The things that other people actually find the
most endearing and beautiful.
After this discovery, it’s apparent to me now
that when it comes down to it, the only thing standing in the way between
ourselves and a good-self image is, well, us.
The key to really believing that we
are beautiful comes down to our perspective, and ours alone. Thankfully, our
perspectives can easily be changed to our benefit, and so I have come up with three
simple steps to change your perspective and silence your inner critic:
Self-Awareness
The first, and most important step in my
eyes, is self-awareness. What I mean by this is really acknowledging the
idea that you have this ‘fixed’ perception of yourself. Over your life, you
have formed this irrational, degrading perception of who you are based most
likely on negative views of yourself and negative opinions from others.
You have allowed these cruel words and
thoughts to form an ‘image’ or idea in your head of
what you look like and who you are.
And before you question this, watch the video
– the idea of perception is easily witnessed and even the participants
themselves begin to realise what a biased, unnecessarily harsh view they’ve had
on themselves for so long.
Acknowledge this perception of yours, and you
will open yourself up to the possible belief that it most likely isn’t the
absolute truth.
Self-Acceptance
The next step is self-acceptance, and is so
important in learning to embrace all aspects of your beauty. You may have
things you don’t like about yourself, insecurities you’re ashamed of, but the
reality is, we all do. Every single one of us.
You are not alone in this, and you may feel
helpless in what you can do to change that.
For many years, I believed plastic surgery
was the answer. I relied on other people’s opinions and validation to believe
anything nice about myself.
But the truth is – learning to live with
these things comes from accepting them.
When you accept your ‘flaws’, you’re
accepting the idea that they are small flaws in your mind, but may not be
to everyone else. You’re acknowledging the fact that there are things about
yourself you aren’t so keen on, but you’re rising above it, realising they
aren’t so important, and learning to value yourself on a bigger scale by
appreciating the wonderful things you do like. Which brings me to my next step…
Self-Love
Self-love comes in a variety of forms, and
self-love in general is definitely a vital ingredient to developing a good
self-image – but, when it comes down to your outer appearance, loving
yourself means appreciating the miracle that is you. It isn’t called
self-hate for a reason. You are not picking out the things you dislike and
reminding yourself of how much you hate them over and over – but, rather,
you are noticing the things you do like, learning to really love
them and embrace them in every way you can.
Learning to be positive about your appearance
day in, day out is a true reflection of self-love. And when we practice
self-love, it is harder and harder for that inner nagging voice to creep back
into our minds.
Learn to see yourself the way those who love
you, see you. More than likely, they are not even looking at your minor imperfections.
They are admiring your true beauty, and the things that are most striking about
you.
Do the same for yourself. Why
shouldn’t you treat yourself in the same, kind, positive way?
You deserve it, and you deserve to start
embracing the beautiful human being that is you.
It will likely take time – I am still on that
journey myself. But I’m positive we can all get there.
What is one thing you like about yourself?
Hope you guys liked the post - remember, you are beautiful!

I enjoyed reading this great and lovely post Ms. Emily!:) I truly agree with this. Also, we're beautiful in our own way. I followed your both blogs via bloglovin! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Rhia!
DeleteAw, thank you so much sweety! That's so kind of you, and I definitely agree!
Thanks again for following me and have a lovely day :-)
Emily xx
It is an amazing post! loved it....
ReplyDeleteI have nominated you for an award on my blog...do check it out!
Neha
Let's talk about everything
Hi Neha!
DeleteThank you so much! That means a lot to me :) and wow, thank you for nominating me for an award!! I'll check it out right now :-)
Thanks for stopping by and have a lovely day!
Emily x
This was a pretty inspiring and powerful blogpost! Thank you so much for not just being a pretty face but having a meaningful message beneath!
ReplyDeletexx Sarah
http://www.heysarahlee.com/
Aww Sarah, this comment has really made my day! I'm so happy my writing has inspired you and that you understood the message I was trying to get across.
DeleteThank you so much for your kind words - you're amazing!!
Emily xx
I'm with you all the way my dearie Emily, I, myself love to style, look good outside as we all fashion lover, but I think, the beauty inside is more important than outside look. I better be a good person, kind to others at first! this is such a beautiful post sweetie!
ReplyDeleteWising you a really great day and also amazing new week!
Hugs and kisses!
http://www.attraction2fashion.com
Tanya
Hi Tanya!
DeleteExactly, I completely agree with you! It's fun to look good on the outside but it's just as important to focus on being a good person and beautiful on the inside :-)
Thank you so much lovely - hope you have an amazing week too!
Emily xx
This looks amazing, emily! You've made me feel so good after reading your post :)
ReplyDeletehttp://talisatalksbeauty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/birchbox-uk-june-2013.html
Hi Talisa!
DeleteThank you so much, I'm so happy the post made you feel good after reading it!! That's exactly what I aimed to do :-)
Have a wonderful week!
Emily x
amazing blog. Totally agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI invite you to check out my blog.
loyaltofashion.blogspot.com
Hi Natalie,
DeleteThank you so much gorgeous! Of course, I'll check it out right now :-)
Thanks for stopping by!
Emily x